Shut Up and Pay Me!

Shut Up and Pay Me… These four words are never spoken softly and never feel good to hear. It means the end/beginning of a business transaction that is not ending/beginning very nicely. Especially when it comes from someone who gets paid to be your fantasy and escape from all the displeasures of the real world. With what can easily seem like half of the internet now making money selling adult content online, it also seems that the attitude most of these content creators (both women/men) uphold is that of the old guard. Also known as Stripper Logic.

 Stripper logic refers to a train of thought that puts the performer in a hierarchy over their audience. They are no longer just a performer there to fulfill the client’s needs in a business transaction. They are now somehow better than the audience that pays money to see them. The client, in the performer’s eyes, is desperate (borderline loser), so desperate in fact that they have to pay to get their needs met and the performer is now in a position of power because of it. In the adult industry, you see this happen much sooner and quicker to performers than say mainstream modeling/acting. By performers exposing their bodies they often feel that they need to hold back exposing what’s truly on their mind. It’s a protective mechanism that often comes off as defensive. 

Ever heard the saying “You can have my body but you cannot have my soul”? It’s not at all dissimilar to that. Today we will discuss how an adult creator can easily get into this mindset and why there are better alternatives to this type of behavior than being in adult work solely for the money.

Why do adult creators get bitter?

There are many reasons that contribute to the “Shut up and Pay Me” attitude. The most relevant and popular factor at this moment are sites like Only Fans that make creators market their own content to their own audience. In this business model unless the creator has garnered some sort of internet/celebrity fame before trying to market their content for sale they often fail to make a full-time living from said content.

Creators will find themselves overextending what their bodies can do or pushing their own physical boundaries just to make quick sales. The lack of planning, understanding of the adult industry as a whole, long-term strategy, and sometimes pure desperation for an ego boost, likes, and money all coagulate into a burnt-out performer before they have even hit their stride.

This burnout is also seen with many cam performers. Cam girls may not be required to market themselves as heavily to get traffic to their rooms on the multitude of sites there now are to choose from but, they have to work 8-16 hour shifts just to make a living. Due to a steady increase in webcam performers over the decades, performers have to work 10x harder than ever to get paid to be naked (or perform sexual acts) yet very few are getting rich or making 6 digits a year. At this same time, they are giving everything they have from a physical standpoint just to break even while re-investing a good quarter of their earnings into higher-tech and wardrobe options for the never-ending stream of random clients who log on each day to watch girls for free. 

This is exactly where the Stripper Logic barrier comes in between getting paid and connecting with your audience. It gets harder for a performer to even want to connect and engage with any individual in their audience on Social Media when you are not getting paid directly for that time. This then becomes an attitude where if you are not paying me for my time, at all times, you are not worthy of my time. Now, this model actually works when you are a hardcore Dominatrix but not everyone is cut out to be a Domme. Most who claim to be Internet Domme’s have not invested enough time and dedication into that craft to even look the part, let alone truly be able to midfuck any man into total submission. 

What’s the Alternative?

Hundreds of thousands of women enter the adult world on a daily basis. This number is only going to increase due to things like a pandemic rendering service workers unemployed, the internet now becoming a permanent fixture in our lives, and the constant need for sexual gratification. This means that it’s harder and harder to get attention, find an audience, and get paid, no matter what business you are in.

The long-term solution to the “Shut up and pay me” attitude, the ego, the thirst trap photos just for likes or in hopes of making a single sale for the day is to concentrate more on connection. The very thing most adult performers do not want to do is exactly what will keep them having a sustainable career for the long haul.

Arousr is a heavily text-based platform that has been around since the early 2000s. There’s a good reason for that, it’s because of the fact that Arousr is heavily based around a text-based connection (while also having the video/phone chat options) that is has stood the test of time. It’s not about getting tipped in the quickest amount of time possible by total strangers, getting subscribers, or shamelessly marketing yourself 24/7 on your social media pages. It’s about having enough intellect, curiosity about sex/kink, and compassion for another human being in order to succeed. 

The long-term game we all need to be playing is empathy, regardless of what business you are in if you truly want to succeed.