Updated August 30, 2023

How to Sex Chat Anonymously With People Who are into BDSM?

There’s more to BDSM sex chat than just whips and chains (and contracts, which will come as a relief to those who watched the wildly inaccurate portrayal of bondage in Fifty Shades of Grey.) BDSM is an overarching umbrella group for a lot of specific fetishes that involve a power exchange. And it’s a relatively common fetish, too. Some surveys report that just under half of women and well over half of men fantasize about it. Thankfully, since BDSM is fairly prevalent, there are a lot of resources for finding other people who like what you like.

4 Best BDSM Chat Sites

1. Arousr – Bdsm Sex Chat
2. Zadomaso
3. BDSM Dating Only
4. BDSM Chat City
5. Fetlife – Fetish Community
6. Alt – BDSM Dating Site

When you have a fetish that most people don’t know about, discretion is an important component of finding a sex chat site. Since BDSM is still stigmatized, it can be uncomfortable letting people know that you’re into it, especially if you live in a very small community. So, if you’re looking to sex chat with anonymous people who are into BDSM, below are some sites where you can do exactly that.

1. Arousr – Bdsm Chat

Arousr is hands down the best place to find anonymous BDSM folks for a sex chat. It’s a kinky escape where you can discover others who are into the same things you are. The chat hosts are fun and open-minded, and they’re ready to experiment with you right now. Plus, Arousr has your privacy all take care of. All you need to do is sign up and start chatting.

2. Zadomaso

Zadomaso, a play on sadomasochism, is a completely free BDSM-specific site where you don’t need to register to sign up. They are LGTBQ+ friendly, which is a plus.

To get started, you register by inputting your gender (though they only list male, female, sissy, or couple), age, and BDSM identity (dominant, submissive, master, and slave are the only options here). Then, you select your fetishes from another pretty limited list.

I was disappointed by the lack of options. BDSM communities are supposed to be especially inclusive, and yet they don’t have options for trans or nonbinary people, and they don’t even have an option for a switch. Plus, there are a lot of scammers and bots on this site, so it might take a little digging before you find someone to have anonymous BDSM sex chat with.

3. BDSM Dating Only

BDSM Dating Only is a great place to meet others who share your fetish. One of the downsides is that this site caters primarily to people who are looking for relationships. So, as long as you don’t mind having a sex chat with someone who might want to date as well, this shouldn’t pose a problem. They have almost a million members, with more joining each week according to the site. After you enter your email and choose a password, you’re in.

This is a typical dating site, where the site has an algorithm that will match you with whoever they think suits you the best. They also have other features like blogs and advice columns, which might be helpful to newbies. You’ll create a profile and then be paired with someone who shares your interests. Fortunately, they have a long and reasonably comprehensive list of kinks to choose from.

Keep in mind that this isn’t a free site. You can choose from silver or gold tier memberships, and each has different levels of benefits. A silver membership costs around $20 each month, and a gold membership costs $30.

4. BDSM Chat City

Judging from the name alone, BDSM Chat City sounds like a winner. It’s perfect for people who are into BDSM, plus it’s a chat site, so you don’t have to weed through people who are looking for serious, long-term relationships. They also have a pretty active membership. When I visited the site, there were 364 users online, which is better than many other sites.

To register, you pick a nickname that serves as your chat handle, enter your age, choose your gender and interest (like dom male, dominatrix, couple, sub male, sub female), and then enter your email. It was disappointing again that they didn’t have an option for switches (people who alternate as doms and subs). But after you register, you have access to their chat rooms, webcams, and private messaging service.

BDSM Chat City has some disadvantages as well. For one, there isn’t any age or identity verification, so you never know exactly who you’ll be dealing with. Plus, no part is free. A 5-day trial costs around $6, and the membership will cost $46.

5. Fetlife – Fetish Community

If you’re looking for a fetish community, then fetlife is the perfect place. Offering an open and welcoming community of fetishists, It provides an avenue for exploration and expression with its broad range of interests. From BDSM to bondage, discover your kinks within the diverse fetish community. With resources like a blog, forum, events and groups – fetishes of all kinds can be discussed, explored and shared in an inclusive space like Fetlife. So if fetish chat is your thing, join this bdsm sexting community and enjoy yourself.

6. Alt – BDSM Dating Site

Are you someone who enjoys exploring the alternative side of dating? Do you have a taste for BDSM activities? Look no further than Alt, the premier BDSM dating site. Alt is a community of likeminded individuals, all looking to connect and pursue their deepest desires. Whether you’re just starting out or a seasoned pro, Alt caters to a range of experiences and interests. With a user-friendly interface and comprehensive search options, you’re sure to find exactly what you’re looking for.

But I would assure you that Arousr’s BDSM sex chat is the best you can go for right now. Arousr gives you 100 free credits to use for sexting, audio-video calls and for the latest roulette, and only after that are you charged. Plus, you don’t have to deal with membership. Instead, you only pay for what you use. Try Arousr’s sex chat today!