By FemmeFatale – Photo by Ka

Why Edging & Denial Are Your Best Kept Secrets For Tantric Sex

In an everyday society as humans, we tend to be programmed for instant gratification. From fast food to even quicker access porn everything is at our fingertips. This is progress, saving time and getting things quickly, cheaply, and easily. However, too much instant gratification when it comes to our pleasures can actually seriously hinder how much pleasure we are capable of achieving!

Just because it’s fast doesn’t always mean it’s good my friends. Today, I’m going to give you more insight into why sexual kinks such as edging and denial are your new best-kept secrets in the bedroom and beyond. It’s time for your tantric education on one of the world’s oldest tricks in the book stemming back into the fourth century A.D. 

What Is Edging?

Edging is when a high level of sexual arousal is consistently maintained for an extended period of time. Ready for the clincher? No orgasm, I repeat no orgasm can be reached during edging. Edging is arousal at its most simplistic. It’s the act/state of being aroused by one-self or with a playmate.  The exact same rules apply to edging to all genders which is why it’s a very easy kink to introduce into your sex life. 

The point of edging is to get you worked up. To the point where you feel as though you are close to cumming but that is the point where you slow things down and start over again. Think of it this way. How do you test the engine of a car to make sure it works for the long road ahead? Well, you turn it on, you step on the gas and after revving the engine you turn it off. This is the exact same process that applies to edging for beginners. How do you know how long you can go for (physically) if you don’t test your own stamina first?  It’s a loop of ramping up and ramping down of your own sexual engines and it’s fucking HOT.

The practice of edging comes with benefits outside of the act itself. The top three benefits of edging are:

• Can increase the intensity of your orgasm when you let yourself cum
• Aids in reaching more orgasmic states for those who find it difficult to reach full climax (without the mental pressure of having to climax)
• For premature ejaculators, edging can help increase stamina to make sexual encounters last longer over time.

What is Orgasm Denial?

Denial one could say who is well versed in BDSM tactics is the graduation from edging.  Edging is tantric and sensual (where the end goal is to reach orgasm) while denial is a bit more… hardcore. It’s meant to completely disrupt the orgasm before it takes place. It’s not so much about the ramping up and down aspect we discussed above in the edging section. It’s also not meant to be on a loop. It’s more so done between the submissive and dominant roleplay scenarios. Where the submissive hands over their ability to orgasm to their dominant. Or with partners, one partner will have control over when the other partner reaches climax… or does not. Instead of “Oh baby, right there” it’s “I own you, and I say you don’t get to cum”. That’s the thing about denial. It’s not about when you get to orgasm it’s about if you will be allowed to cum and both ideas of cumming or not cumming turn you on equally.

Denial, simply put is about denying yourself the ability to orgasm. However, it’s much more complicated from a physiological level. It’s really reverse psychology of your sexuality. As mentioned in the beginning we are hard-wired for instant gratification in today’s society. Denial is the re-wiring of those triggers. With denial, you can reach states of mental arousal vs. physical from by having your orgasm withheld. 

Denial and edging as you can now see while similar in ways are distinctly different. They don’t go hand in hand but they can for some. That is exactly why it’s fun to experiment and see what arouses you most. Where better to experiment with your own personal needs than on Arousr with a sex chat pro? No shame, no embarrassment, just you, your privacy, and an open mind needed. Let’s see where this road can take you and your sexual engine.

About the Author

I’m Femme Fatale, Fetish model, and Alpha Tamer. I have a vast knowledge and affinity for Fetish culture. You can find me every week writing for Arousr and if you’re lucky you might even see me available to chat online! My favorite fetish is Domination.