For most of us adults, sexting usually involves some level of discretion. For those of us who were not born with an iPhone in their hands, we thought it would be a good idea to write this little guide.

Sexting with a spouse or trusted partner

Messaging Apps

Generally speaking, it’s a better idea to use messaging apps such as Whatsapp, Kik or Telegram than your phone’s SMS function. Not only this gives you more flexibility in terms of security, but you will be able to do more fun stuff. Think of video clips, silly photo filters and more. It will also separate your intimate activity from your everyday phone number, so this can prevent you from sexting your sister-in-law by mistake.

Most messaging apps have some features built into them that help provide some level of anonymity. People can view your profile but will not have access to personal information unless you give it to them. Of course, your profile name should be different from your real name and it is standard practice to blur your profile picture (if you are using your picture) or use some generic image as profile avatar.

When it comes to exchanging images in discussions, some apps such as Snapchat allow you to send or capture videos and images that “disappear” within seconds. The idea is to limit the amount of time people have to view the media and prevent em from downloading or sharing em directly. However it’s easy for your pal to make a screenshot and re-share it on social media so it’s not 100% safe.

Phone Number Burners

If your partner does not want to use messaging apps, you may give him/her a disposable phone number to contact you. . You can get them thru services such as BurnerApp or Hushed for a small fee. Calls or texts sent to that number show up in a app which you can usually lock with a passcode or fingerprint (on iPhone) for additional privacy. The number is functional for a specified amount of time. When this time runs out, you can choose to renew the number or delete it. Of course, you can delete it anytime you want.

It’s a good idea to change the number as often as you can because the longer it remains active, the more likely it is to be traced. Don’t worry the fee is quite reasonable. (4.99$ month). It is a small price to pay to make sure your friends don’t know what you are up to.

Beware of notifications

Whatever app is chose to engage in your new secret past-time will send you alerts by default.  If these are not silenced, you will see messages from your secret lover appear on your phone’s lock screen, for everyone to see.  And of course, this will happen when a coworker will have your phone in front of him/her.

So you need to make sure to silence the app’s notifications and, better, make these invisible on your screen.  This can be done on both iPhones and Android devices.

Securing Files

One of the most popular aspects of sexting is the exchange of pictures and videos. This is another way to get into trouble, think of cases where you pass your phone to someone else to show your last vacation pics.  Most apps will automatically store pictures and clips in your phone’s Photo Gallery.  If you want to keep them safe, you should either delete em immediately or put them in a secure place or make them harder to access.

Here is an article that provides a neat trick on how to hide stuff on your phone (Android):

Hiding Embarrassing app Icons

Some icons are quite revealing or well known by the public. Icons such as Grindr or Tinder will advertise your activities. You can disguise your icon by changing the picture or hiding it in a folder.  Of course, this is not the most secure method but it is quick and convenient (Works on Android).

Adding a theme is the simplest way of changing your icons but they do not always change icons to what you want. If you want some added security or a bit more creativity you might want to consider using an icon changing app.

Awesome Icons is the most popular app of this type. It is a simple app with a simple concept, it creates a shortcut to the file instead of changing the image. To use it, you choose the app you want to hide, an icon, and a label. The software will then create a new app shortcut on your home screen. The shortcuts can be moved around on the home screen or added to folders.

Ghost Applications

Also known as hidden or vault apps, this type of software does the same thing for you. Each process is different but the goal is the same.

• – Ghost apps hide your files under fake icons (ex : calculator)
• – Use password encryption
• – Redirect the file location (also known as a decoy).

Read more about this on Mashable

But.. what if you have no one to sext with?

If you do not have anybody to chat with you can use an adult sexting network such as arousr (Yes, this is a shameless plug). Arousr finds other adults who make themselves available to chat with others. Confidentiality is assured, age is verified and no one will re-share your dirty pics to your Facebook friends.

There are several web sites which will list messaging ID’s of potential partners.  A close examination reveals that almost all of the people listed there are actually chat bots or men posing as females in order to get a few (or a few thousands) bucks from you from adult affiliate programs or more serious methods.

In the (unlikely) case that you are being in contact with a real female, the problem is that there is no way to know the actual age of this person.  So this can lead to serious problems, which we all have heard from. Enough said.