How Do I Ask Someone to Be My Sex or Phone Sex Buddy?

Who doesn’t want a friend with benefits? It’s the best of all worlds: you get the connection of having a friend, plus your friend is sexy, and you (hopefully!) click in the bedroom. You also don’t have all the relationship obligations, like planning for the future and other things that can get tedious. There’s always a slight possibility for things to evolve into something more serious. But only if you’re both on the same page. The question on many people’s minds is how to ask someone to be your sex or phone sex buddy? Let’s talk about how to make the jump from flirty acquaintances to friends with benefits.

1. If You’re Just Friends

Making the move from friends to friends with benefits is scary because you have something to lose: your friendship. This situation is the one that requires the most care so that you don’t mess up the already awesome connection that you have. Before starting, make sure this is a risk that you’re willing to take.

1.1. Talk About it

Next, it’s important to delineate between a conversation about feelings and a conversation about sex. The conversation you don’t want to have in order to start a friends-with-benefits situation is a feelings conversation. So, keep the emotions out of it. And don’t try to change someone’s mind if you know they are looking for a serious relationship. This will only make you both unhappy. And you will end up having the fights and conversations you were trying to avoid in the first place.

Also, try to keep the conversation lighthearted. Even a serious discussion about sex can feel like you’re asking for a commitment or wanting a partner rather than sex or phone sex buddy.

1.2. Change the Tone

The best way to ask someone to be your sex buddy is to change the tone of your relationship from a dedicated friend to a dedicated friend that you would definitely sleep with. So, bring it up nonchalantly. For example, you could say something along the lines of, “I don’t have time for a relationship right now. But if you’re ever in the market for some no-strings-attached sex, I’m your guy. Or, just tell her you to find her attractive. Then, if she seems uncomfortable, stop and find a different sex buddy.

1.3. Try Calling Your Phone Sex Buddy

If you want to find a phone sex buddy, the best time to ask is when you’re on the phone. Just make sure there’s no pressure to make the transition at that very second. When the vibe feels right and you are successfully flirting, say something like this.“This was fun, but maybe next time we talk on the phone, we should both be naked”. Gauge the other person’s reaction and be prepared to back off if it doesn’t go over well.

2. If You’ve Already Dated or Slept Together

If you want to turn someone you’ve recently slept with into a phone sex buddy, the hard part is already done. You already know you’re both attracted to each other. And you already know that under certain circumstances, this person wants to sleep with you. If she liked the sex as much as you did, the odds are in your favor.

2.1 Make it Memorable

The truth is that there is an orgasm gap in most heterosexual couples. The orgasm gap represents the fact that heterosexual women are the least likely demographic to have an orgasm during partnered sex—a full thirty percent less likely than men. So, if you’re a man and you’re seeking a woman to be your sex buddy, you will have a pretty good shot as long as you were observant, generous, and responsive to suggestions when you slept together. Many women have found that while sex is easy to find, good sex is incredibly difficult to find.

2.2 Move to the Next Level

If you already slept together and you want to be phone sex buddies, you would do the same thing as you would if you were friends. Ask sometimes when you’re talking on the phone if she’s up for moving things to the next level—but only sexually.

3. If You’re Strangers

It’s easiest to find a phone sex buddy among strangers. You have nothing to lose, and there’s a lot less chance that you will have created an awkward situation in your friend group if things go poorly. You can bring up your interest in a phone sex buddy or friends with benefits by putting it right into your dating profile. Or, if you meet someone in real life, tell them that while you find them very attractive, you’re only available for casual stuff right now.

3.1 Check the Right Site

If you’re not having any luck finding someone to be your phone sex buddy, you might be looking on the wrong sites. Use a site that’s specifically meant for having phone sex can help. But make sure they verify the users’ ages and will protect your privacy. There’s someone out there who wants to have phone sex with you, so keep looking until you find them!