The Kink Test puts you in a Box. Reality is more Diversified.

By M.Christian

You Make your Own Kink!

Interested in making your kink? New to the idea or been there, done that, have the leather vest and chaps to prove it? Looking for tried and true methods for exploring BDSM play without feeling like you aren’t kinky enough? Concerned you’re the only person in the big, wide world into what turns you on? What can you do to accept your kinks? How can you forge your own BDSM path and not feel pressured to do what everyone else is doing?

1. BDSM Must Be Safe, Sane, and Consensual

Whether it’s a fantasy you’re ready to explore or a kink you’re intimately familiar with, you don’t need whips, chains, piercings, floggers, or other heavy-duty implements to enjoy BDSM.

Sure, if those aforementioned whips, chains, and so forth are what you’re into, then go for it. But they’re far from mandatory.

The reality is there are only three important things a BDSM session must-have.

Beginning with every scene has to be as emotionally and physically safe as possible. Not just having a first aid kit at the ready, which is always a good idea, but that safety should be the first and foremost thing on everyone’s mind.

This includes sharing everything during pre-play negotiations, like medical or psychological concerns, what you want, what you may consider if it’s going well, and what must never happen.

Safewords are equally essential for a safe BDSM scene. Never, ever play with someone who refuses to use them or doesn’t immediately react when they are used.

Next, the participants must be sane enough to understand every potential risk and willing to take responsibility if something goes wrong.

Finally, there has to be mutual, unequivocal consent from everyone involved. Consent also can and should be revoked at any time, for any reason, without fear of reprisal or negative consequences. For instance, non-consensual play is when someone feels they can’t say no.

Intense to gentle, serious to silly, fetish fantasies to light play-acting. As long as it’s safe, sane, and consensual, kink play can be anything.

So get out there and make your own kink!

2. How To Make Your Own Kink

But how, exactly, do you make your own kink? For starters, avoid comparing what you like to what others are into.

Again, if your play is safe, sane, and consensual, no one has the right to say if you’re kinky or not.

Forging your own kinky path may take some getting used to. But remaining true to yourself and your BDSM interests is what’s important. It’s how you’ll have a good time and allow you to further explore your kinky side.

Unsure how to get your kinky ball rolling? Try looking at your fantasies. Even if they can’t be safe, sane, and consensual to do in the real world, they might help steer you in the right direction.

Another good technique is to dip your fingers into a wide range of BDSM pies until you find those that pique your sexual interests.

3. Others Share Your Kinks

Feeling alone in what you like in your BDSM play scenes? Worried you’re the only person into something?

Great news, no matter what gets you going, there are lots and lots and lots of people into it.

Joining the BDSM community (whether it be through forums online or Social Media #’s) is a fantastic way to meet them. Inexperienced or experienced or somewhere between, it’s where you can learn everything you ever needed to know about safe, sane, and consensual play.

So go get out there and discover your fetishes, explore the furthest reaches of your sexuality, and more than anything, enjoy making your own kink.