Pictured above, Arousr Chat Host IsabellatheGoddess

A Dominant Woman Discusses Why She Enjoys Submissive Roleplay

Arousr: First, Welcome. Thank you, by the way, for joining us today. Can you please introduce yourself using your Arousr chat host name to the audience?

Isabella: Yes, I am Isabella, the Goddess.

Arousr: Let the audience know what kind of scenes in fetish and kink culture arouse you. In other words, what are your kinks as a dominant woman? What are you personally into?

Isabella: Personally into? I like dominating. So, I am Femme Domme. I like to feel empowered by making men submit to me and worship me. So I love stuff like that and training them and making them obey.

Arousr: And then have you ever been on the other side as a submissive with a dominant man? Have you played that role as well?

Isabella: I played it a couple of times. I’ve done a lot of damsel in distress, so I have done that. That stuff is fun, too. But usually sometimes it’s sometimes other women. Sometimes it’s guys. It just depends. But with an intimate partner being dominated? Okay. Yeah, I like that. I’m not even going to lie.

Arousr: You do like it?

Isabella: Yeah. Especially with my person yeah…

Arousr: Do you find that you’re more dominant when it’s certain people? More in the sense of, like, fantasy type of role play atmosphere. But when it’s your personal sexual preference, you actually like to take the back seat and have someone properly dominate you?

Isabella: Yes. Right. I don’t mind. Like when it’s a fantasy. I’d rather be a Dom. But even if that if someone wanted to do the role of me being submissive and then vice versa, I wouldn’t mind doing that. But when it comes to my preference and personal life, sometimes I don’t mind being dominated. Me dominating. But for the most part, I think it’s more of a turn on if the guy is dominating, it’s just like you never know what’s going to happen next. I want them to control me as opposed to the other way around.

Arousr: Would you say that you’re more kind of a switch then, Isabella?

Isabella: I could be. I guess I could be considered a switch.

Arousr: You’re open. You’re not hardcore Domme only. “I do not fuck with anybody who’s not submissive”. You can take the balance of both.

Isabella: I mean, you have to be able to, especially to be able to be a dental and distress girl, too, because you kind of are the sub in that they tie you up, put ball gags in your mouth. So it’s kind of like it’s both ways. And I actually like the tieing up stuff. I kind of like it. Well, I don’t think that’s bad. I like that. It’s not bad.

Arousr: It’s pretty hot when it’s done, right? Sexy. As long as it’s done right? It’s sexy, in my opinion.

Isabella: Yeah, I do too.

Arousr: What kind of characteristics do you look for when a man is being dominant? What kind of characteristics do you like in a dominant man?

Isabella: Just somebody who speaks very sharply. Pretty much knows what he wants, isn’t afraid to say what he wants and come and get it like, don’t make me sit here and like, oh, okay. So we don’t know. Just take charge if you want it. And especially if it’s like, one of those situations, just take charge. Yeah, I’ll like it even more if you just take charge. I want someone going to just take charge and not ask me questions.

Arousr: Can you give me an example of a man speaking sharply to you? I’m curious. Like, what some of those kind of keywords or phrases you’ve heard that you’re like, hot!

Isabella: Okay! Let me see if I can think of one. Someone speaking sharply to me. I’m trying to think of a situation of where. Okay, so for instance, instead of like, if we’re in the bedroom and he wants something, it doesn’t grab me by the neck and be like, I’m going to take you or I’m going to do this to you or just start touching. I don’t like. Don’t ask me questions about it. If you’re my person, just do it. Pretty much like, yeah, if we’re out in public and you want to play play with me, let’s do it. Don’t ask me. Just like, oh, you’re going to sit still and I’m just going to do what I want to do to you. Okay, sure, I got you.

Arousr: Don’t ask direct. Don’t be Meek about it.

Isabella: right?

Arousr: Exactly, what characteristics? I guess I should phrase it this way. How would you best describe the characteristics of your submissive side? So when you’re tapping into the submissive role, how would you describe yourself? Characteristically, like, playful obedient. Those are the types of things that are described.

Isabella: I’m not really obedient. So I get into trouble.

Arousr: Are you a brat?

Isabella: Yeah, I am. So you can tell me to do something. And just because I know it’s going to be a punishment, and then I’m not going to do it just because it makes it worse. So I kind of like, I don’t want to be a total good girl. What the hell is like? Okay, if I tell you I did Domme, why would I want to be a good girl on this side? No, I’m going to be kind of bad because I want you to kind of force me. I don’t know.

Arousr: That translates, that tracks.

Isabella: Yeah, everything you want me to do, and then you’re just going to go with it, and I’m not going to get any consequences. Like, what fun is that or what consequences

Arousr: You have to have them both. The pleasure needs to be on both sides when it comes to those things.

Isabella: Yes, I agree.

Arousr: So do you think that nice guys can be dominant in the bedroom? Is this possible? What do you think? Based on your experience?

Isabella: I don’t know. I mean Dominance is a very broad role. So either you have it or you don’t a nice guy. If he tapped into fantasy at all. In some ways, I’m pretty sure he could, but I don’t know. I think more bad boys. That has happened too be Domme.

No offense. Good guys. But yeah, either you have it or you don’t. So you can be a gentleman and don’t get me wrong. I like gentlemen too as a dominant woman. But when it comes to certain things in a certain setting and then you have to be able to tap into that just make them more exciting. In my opinion,

Arousr: There’s a personality trait that you found with dominant men. And generally they’re not the nice guy.

Isabella: Yeah.

Arousr: How else do you say it? If you’re not a nice guy, right? Or dominant guy, you’re more forceful. You’re not taking the backseat. You have more vengeance in you, right.

Isabella: And they can be considered nice. Sometimes it just depends. They could still be gentlemen, but they’re just bad.

Arousr: I think it’s bad. I like that’s better than Asshole. Because it’s not necessarily an asshole. I think of an asshole and think of the Fifty Shades of Gray guy.

Isabella: That guy’s that was kind of exciting though…

Arousr: Are you having a moment? Did I give you a flashback trigger?

Isabella: That movie was like, wow,

Arousr: You enjoyed it?

Isabella: Yeah, I think it was good. I mean, I don’t know about the thinking part. I might get mad for real, but like other things, I mean, not with a paddle, maybe with your hand, but I’m the type that likes to, so I can’t say a word.

Arousr: What kind of things haven’t you tried yet? In regards to submissive role play that you are interested in? What haven’t you done yet? That you have piqued your interest, something you’d want to try in the future…

Isabella: Something in the future. That’s a hard one. There’s so many different ones out there because like I said, I’ve been tied up and forced with the vibrator. Only one I haven’t done yet that I would like to try is being on a leash, though.

Arousr: Fun. I just wrote about that today. That’s so much fun!

Isabella: Yes. To be on the leash, to be on one on your knees and the guys are telling you what to do and shit like that. Like, I kind of like that. And I haven’t done that yet. Guiding you around the house, up and downstairs in lingerie.

Arousr: Would you be down to go outside and be on a leash?

Isabella: We’d have to think about it.

Arousr: You’re not sure if you’re that submissive, that’s where it comes into the humiliation factor. That’s more hardcore.

Isabella: That’s more hardcore.

Arousr: See, there’s different degrees. You would love to be collared, leashed, chained, walked, but indoors, in private, indoors.

Isabella: I agree. Yeah.

Arousr: Okay. So what tips would you give a man if he is looking to find a submissive woman or if he just wants to ask his current partner to get into more submissive role play? What tips would you give a guy based on your experience?

Isabella: Honestly speaking, for somebody who’s very independent, which is why I take the Domme role a lot. The person has to trust you in every way possible. If they can’t trust you to leave them it’s a lot harder, but the more you practice and you communicate with each other, the easier that gets. So you’re communicating and telling them what you want and what you’re trying to do. Does it make you guys bad people? Just because you decide to experiment with your partner in your room or whoever you decide to experiment with, it’s your life? Have fun with it. So I just think communication is a really big thing. And if you don’t ask, if you guys don’t discuss it, you never know what you guys might end up liking. So I would just have the conversation if that’s something you want to do. And hopefully the person is receptive to it. There’s nothing wrong with trying new things because that keeps everything fresh and good.

Arousr: Yeah, there’s no reason to try to force somebody to be submissive that takes the antithesis of submission, domination and the new version of BDSM culture, which is all about consent. You can’t force someone to be submissive to you, but that communication opens people up a lot more where you don’t have to be forceful. People get curious and feel safe once you can communicate all your feelings around a subject even if you are a dominant woman. Right?

Isabella; I agree.

Arousr: Tell us about this is our last question with you for the day. By the way, you’ve been lovely. I’m sorry you go so soon! Nine questions only!

Isabella: I know it’s like fast cutting

Arousr: all the fat raw just right to the meat. Right. Tell us about the best sexting experience you’ve had so far on a browser being dominated by a male member. So when you’re playing a submissive role, whether it be damsel in distress or otherwise, when you’re really into role playing, you’re sexting, tell us about whatever you can think of the best experience you’ve had. Or most interesting,

Arousr: The situation where we were in an abandoned building, I’m tied to the wall in order to orgasm. I had to ask, call him my master, and things like that. He would come and tease me and things like that of that nature. Pretty much. It was like there was safe words too, just in case it got too crazy. But because we’re acting everything out. But that’s pretty much in a place that I had no clue where I was. I was blindfolded. Also I didn’t know what was going on. I didn’t know what he was going to do, and that’s pretty much how that scenario went,

Arousr: like orgasm denial, domination, ties, restraints. You got it all in one that’s hot as a dominant woman. And I just also wrote about orgasm denial and being tied to the wall today for the Arousr blog, which is crazy.

Isabella: That is crazy.

Arousr: We’re in sync. We’re like, great minds think alike when it comes to kink!

Isabella: Exactly. There’s so much on that you can appeal to so many different people. And whether it’s your lifestyle, personally or not, like there’s so many differences when you’re into this business at all, you’ve got to be able to be creative. That’s pretty much what it is. You have to be able to feed into the fantasy and give the fantasy. Otherwise. What are you doing?

Arousr: Can you let us let the people know on your way out for your outro? I’ll give you a minute to plug yourself. Tell people why they should come chat with your awesome self on Arousr.

Isabella: I’m really fun and exciting. I like being able to talk to new people and meeting all the different things that you guys like to do. You learn a lot of new things. Well, I think we can learn a lot together. So come and find me.

Arousr: Thank you so much. Isabella, you were great today.
Isabella: Thank you. No problem. Anytime.

Have you ever tried submissive Roleplay with your partner? Do you want to see more posts like this one talking about Dominant roles in relationships? Let us know in the comments below!