{"id":15189,"date":"2021-05-25T14:04:00","date_gmt":"2021-05-25T14:04:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/arousr.com\/content\/?p=15189"},"modified":"2025-04-03T21:09:31","modified_gmt":"2025-04-03T21:09:31","slug":"when-sex-chat-hosts-become-mens-therapists","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/arousr.com\/content\/when-sex-chat-hosts-become-mens-therapists\/","title":{"rendered":"When Sex Chat Hosts become Men\u2019s Therapists."},"content":{"rendered":"

When Sex Chat Hosts become Men\u2019s Therapists.<\/span><\/h1>\n

What\u2019s the link between Sex and Mental Health?\u00a0 Simple. Society Shames both.<\/span><\/h3>\n

In the 8 years or so that I have run the Arousr platform, I have regularly seen men end up on adult chat<\/a> services when they would have been better served calling a therapist. As can be heard in interviews with members and chat<\/a> hosts on the <\/span>Arousr Podcast<\/span><\/a>.\u00a0 Sex is a pretext to engage in a conversation, but the conversation itself moves away from the sex part, and sometimes does not involve sex topics at all.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

‘Men come for the Sex, they stay for the connection.
\nWhat\u2019s behind this?’<\/i><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s pretty well documented that compared to women, men are less likely to seek help for mental health difficulties.\u00a0 Men are not acculturated to talk about their feelings. Most are raised on adages such as \u201cbig boys don\u2019t cry,\u201d or \u201cman up.\u201d They are encouraged to be stoic and to \u201ctough it out,\u201d\u00a0 In general, <\/span>Men Get Penalized for Straying from Masculine Norms<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, where do men go when they need to escape from these social expectations?\u00a0 They go somewhere where they can stay anonymous and feel comfortable being vulnerable with someone.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Why are men ending up opening themselves to chat hosts, whom are not professionally qualified to provide such services?\u00a0 Here are a few reasons I can think of:<\/span><\/p>\n

1. Sex is an acceptable way for men to engage.<\/span><\/h3>\n

For a man\u2019s ego, flirting through text messages is a much more natural way to start opening up than calling a professional, therefore admitting to himself\u00a0 he \u2018needs help\u2019.\u00a0 \u2018Real men\u2019 don\u2019t ask for help.\u00a0 But they allow themselves to flirt.<\/span><\/p>\n

2. Anonymous Texting feels safer than calling a therapist.<\/span><\/h3>\n

Starting a conversation with anonymous text messages is much less frightening to men than trying to find a therapist and repeatedly calling in hopes to get an appointment in a few weeks.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

On Arousr, they can find someone to connect to 24\/7. There\u2019s no need to identify themselves.\u00a0 They can exchange a few messages and see if the other person is a right fit.\u00a0 If they don’t feel a connection, they simply switch to someone else.\u00a0 In real life, you can\u2019t \u2018shop\u2019 a therapist.\u00a0 You\u2019re lucky to find one and will need to figure out if there\u2019s a \u2018fit\u2019 after your first meeting (and after you forked over $200) for the initial consultation alone.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>

3. \u2018Alpha Men\u2019 need a place to be vulnerable<\/span><\/h3>\n

In fact, especially them. What we see is probably a way to balance their \u2018real life\u2019 alpha male with its opposite.\u00a0 The more a man plays the \u2018alpha\u2019 role, the more he plays his \u2018beta\u2019 side in private.\u00a0 The more he\u2019s \u2018in control\u2019 of everything in his personal life, the more he needs to let go of this control in private.<\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s why we have so many members who fantasize about being dominated. We can witness this with numerous examples such as men confiding they want to dress as women or be dominated, leaving all power to the chat host.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>