Sexting = Cheating?

Philosophers could bat this one around all day, so don't expect definitive answers here. It's going to depend on where your ideas and morals stand. There's a different answer for everyone.

It's tempting to minimize it. "It's just texting!" Sure, and flirting's "just talking". The difference is in the circumstances.

Probably the best answer would be "Would your partner consider what you were doing to be cheating?" If they would, there's probably either an extremely flexible set of morals on one end or an extremely controlling partner on the other.

Another good barometer is "Do you lie and hide your sexting?" If so, then yes, you're cheating like crazy. Because the whole thing with the bond between you and your partner is based upon intimacy, and if you're not being honest, that's not intimate. This works the same if you're lying about and trying to hide gambling, drugs, drinking, or any other nasty habit that's starting to get the best of you. Lying about anything while doing it to excess is a sign that you're showing addicting behaviors and should be stopped.

But there are many more innocent scenarios. Some couples have an "open relationship", some couples are "swingers", some practice "polyamory". If all parties consent, then go wild, guilt-free, because it's not cheating! Notice, your partner has to (a) know what you are doing, and (b) give you their approval.

See, we can no longer pretend that every couple is a monogamous, vanilla, 100% hetero couple with no quirks, kinks, or hangups on either side. For that matter, some partners might be incapacitated with a medical disability and be unable to satisfy their partner.

It's best not to browbeat the question of whether sexting is cheating. Those philosophers are getting windy already. Instead, it's better to broaden the focus and simply ask, "Is what I'm doing going to come between me and my partner?" If the answer to that is 'yes', you care care more about your partner than the other thing, then stop it.