New to Sexting? Here are some Dirty Texting Tips!

"Am I doing this right?" Unlike real-life interaction, sexting doesn't give you immediate feedback. All you have to work with is those 26 letters, 10 digits, and a smattering of punctuation marks (yeah, right, like anybody uses those?). And you can be quite experienced otherwise and still feel like a "sexting virgin".

So lie back and think of England... or follow these pointers for a better experience:

1. Don't do it while driving! Or steering a boat, or operating a forklift, or piloting the Space Shuttle. Not only are you at-risk on the driving part (crashes and all that), but you will be a better sext-partner if you're not distracted by another task. We recommend a small, quiet room, where you can actually focus your thoughts on your partner. But having some music on sounds like a good idea.
   
   
2. Don't do it while sloppy drunk. This goes for being under the influence of anythign else heavy. Not only is it hard to hit those tiny little buttons when your coordination's all caddywumpus, but you'll also be a little more coherent and comprehensible. Remember, your brain is your most important sex organ, and sexting is a largely mental act. Also, how "loosened up" do you have to be to send texts?
   
   
3. Do let your imagination run wild. Just imagine that there's a "times out" on reality when you sext. You can be anyone and do anything! Half the point of sexting with most people is to indulge in some wild fantasy playground that wouldn't be practical in real life.
   
   
4. Don't type so fast. Here's a hint: Your partner's fingers may not always be on their keyboard. Take your time. Think of something a little more thrilling, and take the time to phrase it well. Nothing's more frustrating than composing some daringly erotic prose babbling forth in a maelstrom of sexual energy and getting nothing back but "OK".
   
   
5. Do use toys. Physical stimulation is part of the fun, after all. There's nothing wrong with sexting along with a couple of mechanical assistants, batteries included.
   
   
6. If you trade pics, no need to show off everything at once. Think of a strip tease or a peek-a-boo game. Guys: attention please! Keep Mr. Johnson in the executive office until the final round of negotiation!